Four reasons why I will not be returning to Five Guys + 1 reason why I might!

Normally I am a huge fan of burger restaurants in general, but just not this one. Five Guys is probably not aimed at 30 -something’s like me, but for people half my age instead.  However, here are four reasons why I would not return to Five Guys and one reason that I might just be persuaded to go back.

1. The Experience

........is a bit like a trip to Argos. You order your burger with its fillings on a tacky bit of glossy brochure paper with little clipart pictures of tomatoes, lettuce, peppers, guacamole or whatever. Look, if your burgers are supposed to be so great they should have these in any way! I’m hungry I can’t be bothered deciding what I want in my burger. Please just put everything in and that will more than satisfy me.

Going to 5 Guys is a bit like shopping here:

Ok..if I must.. I’ll have some cheese, a burger (of course) err red peppers or green?, Mayo or Salad cream?, tomatoes or jalapenos?, Think I might skip on the cucumber.. Dill pickle? Onions? Chillies?

ArrgghI don’t know... just put the whole lot in and make it the biggest burger on the planet for all I care. I’m so hungry I could eat a horse! Then, this is where the Argos bit comes in. You place your order with your filling options, plus choice of fries and you get a number. Then you queue and wait until the food is ready and your number is called. There you have it, your food neatly wrapped in a brown paper bag. Now find a table.

       2.  The cost

In plain Yorkshire, a bloody rip off! It’s £14 for a burger, fries and drink.. yes £14. Ok, Five Guys is supposed to be better than McDonalds and well yes you do (thankfully) get a bigger portion than you would at the golden arches. However, at least with McDonalds you know what it is. It’s crap, but cheap and useful in certain situations. For this to be value for money it had better be the best burger and chips I’ve ever tasted to justify that £14 leaving my wallet for you Mr Five Guys.

       3.    The food

5 guys cheeseburger

Now, the burger is actually quite nice, but ...and there is a big but. In my opinion  it is no better than the burgers at my local pub, which cost £4.95 plus a pint!  Nothing wrong with it, but definitely not worth fourteen English pound sterling (and I don’t even get a pint). It is reasonably sized, bigger than other fast food chains, granted but it isn’t so barnstormingly brilliant that it makes me want more or justify its value (£8 for the burger on its own). On my visit I went for the Cajun chips, which in my opinion were too dry and after a few of them, my mouth felt like the Sahara Desert. At least you got a fair portion, but unfortunately like a marathon runner I hit the wall halfway through.

4.   The decor

Red and white with posters on the wall about how flippin’ great their burgers are... and how it’s everybody’s favorite burger place just because The New York Times says so.. plus, how brilliant they are because they use a certain type of oil that other places do not. So what? How about some nice pictures on the wall? I want something, please to ease the pain of the large hole in my wallet that your burger has just created. It’s a bit like when you are in the pub and all they show on their TV screens are adverts about their flippin’ Tuesday night drinks offer, instead of sport or a music video.

                             .....And the reason why I might go back...

                                          

                      The drinks Machine!!!!!!

Image source: drinks.seriouseats.com

The drinks machine is brilliant! It is by far the best reason to go to Five Guys and the only reason I may be persuaded to go back. So, after the Argos bit you get a go on this fantastic invention! On the touch screen are hundreds and I mean hundreds  of different options, made up of common soft drink brands such as Coca Cola, Fanta and Sprite for example, but with the added twist of having many different flavourings to choose from, some of which I never knew existed! Anybody for peach 7up? , vanilla flavoured Powerade perhaps, or Cherry Fanta? Brilliant, I could sit in Five Guys all day (ignoring the decor) and try each one. Well done Five Guys. You have got a brilliant USP here! Throwing my Yorkshire flat cap to one side it could even be worth £14 on its own! 

10 things to look out for during the General Election Campaign

The 2015 General Election campaign will officially get under way when the Queen dissolves Parliament on 30^th March, prompting weeks of political mayhem, madness and a colourful battlebus coming to a town near you. Here are ten things to look out for during the campaign and throughout Election Day, until the winner is declared in the early hours of May 8^th.

1. A leading politician has eggs thrown at them while out campaigning, conveniently by somebody who looks a bit like Swampy.

Source www.itv.com

2. A harassed looking Nick Clegg being barracked by his own constituents in Sheffield, blaming him for tuition fees, the closure of a steel factory and the fact that it constantly rains in South Yorkshire.

3. An online story about a leaflet deliverer being chased by a dog.

4. Nigel Farage filmed in a pub having a pint and Boris Johnson making a gaffe,

5. A party leader claiming to be a fan of a "cool" rock band in order to try and win the youth vote. 

6. One of the battlebuses breaking down in a rough part of town and is vandalised by the locals.

Gaffe prone Boris Johnson 

7. Somebody saying something rather embarrassing about immigration.

8. A story about a remote polling station, in an unpronounceable Welsh hamlet, that only had one voter all day.

9. A visibly disappointed celebrity candidate, who stood over some local environmental issue, being interviewed at the election count after only 207 people voted for them. You really didn’t think you’d get elected did you just because you’re on telly?

 10. At the count, a, prominent, winning candidate is being interviewed with a joke candidate from The Monster Raving Loony Party stood in the background wearing full costume.

A battlebus coming to a town near you.

 Film Review- The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

The Second best exotic Marigold Hotel takes us on another colourful Indian journey to check up on the lives of the English pensioners, who took over the running of the place in the first film. Muriel Donnely (Maggie Smith) and Sonny Kapoor (Dev Patel) are in America seeking investment for their plans to expand the enterprise to a second hotel in Jaipur. After the pensioner charms the company with her forthright opinions they agree to send an inspector to “check” on their new investment. Cue comedy and chaos back in India as two mysterious guests arrive at the Marigold Hotel.  Sonny and his plans are also thrown into turmoil over his plans to marry Sunaina (Tena Desae), while the other pensioners led by Evelyn Greenslade (Judi Dench) and Douglas (Bill Nighy) continue their intertwining romances as British expats abroad.

I liked this film, although it will never be up there with the very best movies that have passed my gaze. The performances of the older cast members, especially Maggie Smith provide the best moments with a string of classic one-liners, put-downs and jokes about old age to warm the soul. Dev Patel is excellent as the bumbling Sonny, whose tendency to mess things up has you cringing in places. The first Exotic Marigold Hotel film, in my opinion showed us far more of Indian life and its streets, along with a clearer narrative and less confusion with the characters. It took me a while to remember who’s who and their situations, until I remembered in the second half of the film. There were not as many scenes featuring the streets or the call centre for example that I enjoyed in the first film, concentrating more prominently on the lives of the expats and Sonny. The Asian wedding scene was interesting, especially to see some of the rituals that take place at these of ceremonies and the dancing. Overall this film is second best to the first one, but then how often do we say that about a sequel? However I did enjoy watching it very much and it will most certainly leave you feeling a lot better afterwards.

Rating 3.5/5.